One more cup of coffee

On parenting

When we were in to see Nathan’s orthopedist a few weeks ago, he asked if we were still keeping Nathan in the brace. “Umm … yes, since that’s what you said to do.” “Really? Oh, that’s good.” He was surprised.

…

Recently, a woman noticed Nathan’s brace for his club feet and decided to tell us the story of her kid who had been born with “a crooked head”, which required wearing a helmet for a year. “But he didn’t like it, so we only used it for three months. I guess we should have kept it on, because now he’s nine years old and his head is still crooked. Oh well!”

…

I called Nathan’s doctor yesterday to say that Nathan was kicking out of his shoes about every twenty minutes or so, and I thought we needed new shoes because the leather in his current shoes had stretched so much that we couldn’t keep them tightly buckled anymore. The nurse who called me back thanked me profusely for noticing this and acting on it. One study of club feet showed that the recurrence in “compliant” families, i.e., those who actually do what the doctor says, is 6%. Otherwise, the rate is 80%.

…

What the hell is wrong with people? You can’t make parenting decisions based solely on what an infant does and doesn’t like. Nathan doesn’t always like to have his diaper changed, but it’s a really good idea to do it anyway.

I don’t mean that what he wants is unimportant. When he cries, I pick him up (even at 2 AM, although I may grumble a bit about it). When he wants to eat, I feed him. But when he cries because of his orthopedic shoes being put on … well, tough. Obviously, it’d be great if he liked them, but he needs them regardless. Nathan can’t make tradeoffs between short term and long term, so it’s our responsibility to do so.

Ignoring a child’s long term medical needs for the sake of short term convenience is a sin.

Posted by Mike at May 26, 2005 08:25 PM